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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28664235">A Student In Wartime</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/23Murasaki/pseuds/23Murasaki'>23Murasaki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Long United, Long Divided [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(i mean it's Clone Wars era you should be expecting this), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Levels Of Dead Clones, Canon-Typical Levels of Child Soldiers, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Fusion of Star Wars Legends and Disney Canon, Gen, Headcanons Everywhere, More tags to be added, POV First Person, vaguely Codywan if you're looking for it (but just clones running their mouths otherwise)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:27:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,719</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28664235</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/23Murasaki/pseuds/23Murasaki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As what will be known as the Clone Wars ravage the galaxy, newly minted padawan Ahsoka Tano and her unwilling master Obi-Wan Kenobi face the armies of the Confederacy as the tides of the Force flow towards the Dark Side and Darth Sidious and his new apprentice play dejarik with people's lives. Some things are foretold: these are the dying days of the Republic. Ahsoka keeps a chronicle through them. </p><p>(Or: Long United, Long Divided: Book Two! Since there's clearly nothing else in all the world I should be doing, I'm writing this — and in Ahsoka's POV at that. Plenty of canon divergence, particularly based on the stuff that happened in Book One. Preemptively promising 'Soka survives this one! Other characters may not. Updates every two weeks probably.)</p><p>15 March: Ahsoka and company meet an unexpected ally(?) while pursuing General Grievous, but first Ahsoka hugs a friend because that's important too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Long United, Long Divided [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2100678</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>(I said there'd be more, so there's more! Same update schedule as the first one, same enabler to blame. Have fun!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Padawan’s log, entry one. Coruscant Main Starport— oh, whatever. Bee’s right, this does sound stupid this way. But I want to make it really clear that this is a chronicle, ok? Not a diary. I’m not a little kid, I’m a Jedi — a padawan — and I’m going to fight in the war so I’m keeping a chronicle. </p><p>My name is Ahsoka Tano, and I’m eleven standard years old. Pretty much all my life, I’ve lived on Coruscant — I know I was born on Shili, but I don’t remember much about it. But now I get to actually go somewhere! Help with things! Do you know what it’s like, watching all your teachers and all your seniors ship out while you’re waiting and waiting because you’re not trained enough to begin your training? It’s horrible! Not that I’m like, bloodthirsty or something. I wish there wasn’t a war, we all do, but there’s been a war for half my life. Uh, probably longer, if you think about it, but it wasn’t big back then. Now it’s big, it’s galaxy-wide, and we Jedi have to do our parts. </p><p>So I’m here to do my part. Master Yoda says I’m to rendezvous with my new master over Lantillies, and then I’m supposed to learn from him. Way back whenever, I think there used to be these big ceremonies for choosing padawans, but we can’t do that now if none of the masters are around. At least I’ve <i>met</i> Master Kenobi before, even if it was a million bajillion years ago. I hope he remembers me. I hope he likes me. I wish I were going to be Anakin’s padawan instead.</p><p>I’ve known Anakin — Knight Skywalker, now, i guess — since like forever. He and his master, Master Plo, were the ones who found me on Shili, and he’s kind of been around ever since. He’d help me with combat practice and complain to me about girls and stuff and taught me all sorts of random things about the galaxy, cos he was brought to the Temple late and lived in the Outer Rim, like how to cuss in Huttese even though Jedi aren’t supposed to cuss at all. It’s not just the masters who can take apprentices, so i can’t see why they <i>didn’t</i> send me to him, but I guess the Force willed something else. Or Master Yoda willed something else. Anyway, Master Kenobi it is. </p><p>I’m being sent with reinforcements for him, a group of new clones. I… guess they’re all supposed to look the same anyway, but the white helmets give me the creeps. Bee says it could be anyone under there, a droid or a sith lord or a random interloper, and none of us would know. Sith Lords probably wouldn’t bother with that sort of thing, but she’s got a point, right? I don’t know how to tell if a clone is a clone or just someone in armor. I guess there’s gotta be some way, but they just feel like people, you know? And they look like teenagers—uh, well, like one teenager with a buncha different haircuts and stuff—even though they’re supposed to be soldiers, but i guess I’m supposed to be a soldier now too and i look younger than them. I might be older than them. Clones age weird. </p><p>Kesh, one of the squad commanders here, says it doesn’t matter and they’re all proper adults and I’m not. He also says he’s heard rumors about Master Kenobi—to him, General Kenobi— and they’re all super out there. Apparently one time General Kenobi captured an enemy commander, and when he let the guy go the guy went and blew up his own fortress. Apparently one time General Kenobi got kidnapped and then his kidnappers paid the Republic to take him back. Apparently he killed his own master and his older brother-padawan in a duel, because he’s the second greatest makashi master in living memory. Apparently he can invade his enemies’ dreams and haunt them until they surrender. </p><p>“Doubt it’s half true, of course,” Kesh told me. “Soldiers talk too much. But that’s what’s said about him, see?”</p><p>I told him it sounds like Sith stuff, and he laughed at me and said that to someone who isn’t a Jedi all Force stuff sounds the same. I hope that’s not true. I hope he’s just saying that because he’s, yknow, a teenage boy, and teenage boys are gross and weird no matter what sort they are, and that really there’s a really really big difference that anyone can see. I hope Kesh is just nervous about going into real battle for the first time and about meeting a new Jedi and being in charge, and it’s really all nothing and Master Kenobi is nice and likes me.</p><p>That’s not dumb, right? I don’t think it’s dumb. </p><p>——————-</p><p>So, quick update! Master Kenobi doesn’t like me! At all! He said he didn’t want an apprentice and then he called Yoda a meddling old something-in-a-language-I-don’t-know, and then he told me off for being rash for coming out to the front and then he told me off for blind obedience when i told him Master Yoda had sent me, so basically everything is terrible. I wish I were Anakin’s apprentice. I wish I were <i>home</i>. </p><p>But. Like. If I go back to Coruscant, or try to — there’s not exactly any mass transit to take — that’s losing, right? That’s surrendering, and I don’t wanna surrender and I sure don’t wanna lose to Master <i>Jerk</i>. So obviously I’m staying and I’m gonna prove him wrong about everything, but everything’s still terrible. </p><p>At least I know Kesh was talking out of his butt though. If Master Jerk could do that sort of mind control, he’d have mind controlled me right back to the Temple. So there! (I wrote to Bee and Bariss and everyone though to see if they can find out what <i>actually</i> happened to Master Kenobi’s master. I remember him being around when I was little, because I know he brought Maul to the Temple and helped him be less Sithy and stuff, but after that Maul was at the Temple and old Master Jinn wasn’t and no one talks about why.)  </p><p>Besides Master Jerk, the person in charge here is a clone commander called Cody. He’s a jerk too— he called Kesh and his soldier “a bunch of wet-behind-the-ears shinies” and told them and me that an active warzone was a good place to die and a bad place to learn things, which is annoying because we don’t have any other place to learn things, do we? But he didn’t send us away, at least, and he says he’s in charge of staffing so if he says we stay then Master Jerk can’t send us away. We’re leading what the admirals call a liberation force and Commander Cody calls a multipronged targeted assault on the planet below, which is held by rebel forces. </p><p>This should be the bit, I think, where I talk about the rebels. They call themselves the Confederacy of Independent Systems, and their unofficial leader is a businessman from the Outer Rim, and they want… I really don’t know what they want. I know they’re evil, because we wouldn’t be fighting them if they weren’t evil, and I know they think <i>we’re</i> evil, or they say they do, because Bariss found a way to tune into their broadcasts, and the masters keep mumbling things about Sith Lords so there may be a Sith Lord in on it somewhere, but I don’t know if they <i>want</i> anything at all. Maybe they just want chaos and destruction, like the Bando Gora cultists from when I was a kid, but there’s a difference between a cult and a government, right? There should be, anyway. </p><p>There are three major rebel strongholds on Lantillies, and we’re going to take them out all at once — or that’s the plan, anyway. The admiral, Dahket, calls it ‘blitzing’ the enemy, but I don’t think Commader Cody likes the term. Maybe he just doesn’t approve of slang? Master <strike>Jerk</strike> Kenobi is leading one of the attacks, Commander Cody is in command of another, and both of them said they’re not taking me so I get to do blitzing with Admiral Dahket I guess. He doesn’t like me either. I don’t think anyone here likes me. </p><p>——————</p><p>They sent Kesh and his squad along with me. Actually they sent most of the newer clones with me and the admiral. Master Kenobi told Commander Cody something about drawing the enemy’s attention, and then Admiral Dahket complained about Jedi micromanagement, so I guess we’re not supposed to see a lot of action on our end. Our bit is an aerial assault by Dahket’s men, followed by me and Kesh and the other clones dropping down to secure the buildings. The target isn’t particularly well-defended, and the other attacks will draw attention away, so it should be simple. It should. Dahket is giving orders to his pilots, Kesh and the clones — I heard them call each other brothers — are joking and hyping themselves up, and … and all of this feels wrong. I’ve got a bad feeling about it, but I there’s no one here who’ll listen to me, is there?</p><p>I should warn someone, but no one wants dire warnings now. They want to <i>move</i>, I can feel it in the air, and to prove themselves, and I want that too. Maybe it’s all in my head? A warzone is different from getting a bad feeling about some weird food, everything here is a potential danger. Maybe that’s what I’m feeling? I wish I could ask someone, but no one on this ship is Force sensitive. I wish my friends were here. I wish Anakin was here. I’d even take Master Jerk at the moment, or Maul — he’d answer my dumb questions, at least. Ugh, maybe if I wish hard enough the Force will give me an answer. </p><p>——————</p><p>I warned Kesh. </p><p>Thank the Force I warned Kesh and thank the Force that he listened to me, because we dropped right into a trap. I don’t know who sold us out, but someone did — they knew we were coming, Dahket bombed empty buildings, and when we landed we got swarmed by a droid ambush. Kesh had given the call to go in blasters blazing, which at least meant we took out some of them, and I was top of my class in lightsaber combat so I made kind of a dent, but we had to fall back. Kesh and I and a few of his brothers managed to hide, but I don’t know where we’re going to go from here. </p><p>One of the clones is hurt, he’s bleeding through his armor, and someone’s hyperventilating real bad behind a helmet, and there’s tactical droids with some sort of shielding along with the battledroids surrounding the ruin we hid in and none of our comms are working and I should have checked on the ship but I didn’t because I was too busy freaking out so I don’t know if they were bogus when we got them or what but we can’t even call for help. Anakin says there’s a bond between master and apprentice, something that allows one to see when the other’s in danger or something like that, but I know I don’t have it. Maybe you have to do the ceremony thing to have it, I don’t know, all I know is that I’m here and I’m alone and I <i>am<i> older than Kesh, I asked, he’s eight. They’re trapped here with a Jedi, at least, but I’m all alone. </i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>We can’t hide forever, though, so this may be a really really short chronicle after all. If we stick together, me on defense against bolts and Kesh and his brothers shooting, I think we can make it past this ring of droids. I don’t know what’s after, but… Wish me luck, anyway! And I don’t <i>really</i> think Master Kenobi is a jerk. You know, for posterity. May the Force be with us. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Signing off — Ahsoka Tano, Padawan</i>
  </i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I didn’t die. Which I guess you can tell from how I’m writing another entry. We did break through the circle, though by the time we did it was just me and Kesh and two others, and then there was another circle past that and they started shooting at us too. At least until Master Kenobi showed up. </p>
<p>I said before that Master Kenobi is the second-best makashi master in living memory, but I think he might be just as good at the other forms. You can’t use makashi against blasters, it’s meant for Jedi-to-Jedi combat. Or Jedi to Sith. Anyway, you’re supposed to use it against someone else who has a lightsaber, if you’re up against blaster it’s soresu you need. It was my worst form, in combat classes, because I never really got the point of sticking to defense. </p>
<p>Guess I don’t have to say out loud that I get it now, huh?</p>
<p>Someone who’s really good at soresu, like Master Kenobi, can wipe enemies out with their own reflected blaster bolts. And that’s what he did, and then a bunch of clones on speeders wiped out the rest, and Master Kenobi called for medical transport and put Kesh and his brothers on it, and then he told me I needed to work on my footwork. Because he’s a jerk. But he didn’t say anything about how much I was shaking, which I was, and when I fell asleep on the ship after someone covered me in a Jedi cloak. (Though when Commander Cody saw me wandering around with it he chewed me out for the general leaving his stuff everywhere, so it may have been one of the clones thinking it was a blanket or something.) </p>
<p>I told Master Kenobi that I thought we’d been double-crossed (before I slept on the ship, so it was sort of babbly probably) and he stared at me for a little while and said he’d look into it and then walked away. I don’t know where he is now or what he’s doing, but I found Kesh telling a bunch of other clones about what had happened. He made me sound all cool and heroic, even though a lot of them died and I probably really do need to work on my footwork. </p>
<p>“There’d be more of us dead if it wasn’t for you,” Kesh said, and then went to pat me on the head but realized I had montrals not a helmet and stopped halfway through. One of the other clones, he looked older, patted me on the shoulder instead and said I was shaping up to be a good Jedi. I told him that’s what I was supposed to be.</p>
<p>That is what I’m supposed to be, right? I mean, I’ve been training to be a Jedi since I was like, four, right? But it made the clones laugh when I said that and Kesh called me <i>kiddo</i> which was dumb so I said he was kiddo-er than me and then a clone medic told us all to shut up and knock it off. </p>
<p>But we’re alive, and Commander Cody and Master Kenobi succeeded at their bit of the <i>multipronged targeted assault</i> so I guess it’s mission accomplished. Somehow. I still have a bad feeling, but when I bothered Commander Cody he said to go meditate until Master Kenobi comes back. </p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>I tried to meditate, I did, but I can’t focus. I keep seeing the battlefield, hearing it — the roar of ships overhead, the droids, the dust, the blood… The masters had said the Bando Gora cultists felt like death, and maybe they did, but they didn’t feel like <i>dying</i>. People dying, that feels different. <strike> Maybe that’s why Master Kenobi’s so cold.</strike></p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>I heard back from Bariss. She talked to her master, Master Unduli, and got her to write down what she thinks happened with Master Kenobi’s master. And then Bariss just sent me what she wrote, which is very Bariss. I’m glad she hasn’t changed, even if she’s sort of boring. Boring is good for a Jedi, right? (Bee’s completely useless about this because her master apparently doesn’t like, talk to people about things.) Anyway, may as well pass it on. </p>
<p>
  <i>I knew Obi-Wan Kenobi ever since we were younglings. We were apprenticed at approximately the same time, and as you noted he went to train under the Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Jinn himself had trained under Master Dooku, who has since left the Temple and currently represents Serenno in the senate. I believe there is a bust of Dooku in the Archives, as after his departure he was named among the Lost Twenty. </i>
</p>
<p>There definitely is a bust of him, I remember because once I annoyed Master Nu so much she made me dust that entire room and reflect on my inability to shush. The Lost Twenty, I guess, were masters who left the Order in good standing — they just found something else to dedicate their lives to. </p>
<p>
  <i>You had not asked me about Master Dooku, however I cannot explain what befell his lineage without making note of him. He was a renowned duelist, during his time at the Temple, and served as a Jedi Shadow alongside the Archivist, Master Nu, when they were young. I was told he often struggled with the Dark Side, having seen so much of it up close. That is rumor and hearsay, but I know he left under a cloud. He had tapped into the Dark Side during the Battle of Naboo, before you came to the Temple, and while his actions were forgiven they were not forgotten. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Master Dooku had trained two students, Master Jinn and a young woman named Komari Vosa. Padawan Vosa failed to pass her trials and went missing some decades ago; she was assumed to be dead after having been captured in battle, but she resurfaced as the leader of the Bando Gora cult. As far as I am aware, she still lives. Master Jinn’s first formal apprentice, a boy called Xanatos, fell to the Dark Side as well, having blamed Master Jinn for his father’s death. Master Jinn took the betrayal poorly, but ultimately took Master Kenobi as a second apprentice. I believe he was given leeway for his emotions, and it is possible the Council erred in doing so, because shortly after completing Master Kenobi’s training, Master Jinn turned to the Dark Side himself. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Master Kenobi informed the Council that he believed the Sith had had sway over Master Jinn for some time. There had been an incident with a holocron, though I was not privy to its details. It was suggested that the Sith sought revenge on Master Jinn for stealing one of their students, but there is no proof to validate that theory. Eventually, Master Jinn kidnapped his own apprentice, then-Padawan Ventress, and Anakin Skywalker, who had been in Master Kenobi’s care, and fled to Wild Space. Master Kenobi recovered the apprentices, but Master Jinn managed to escape. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I don’t believe Master Kenobi ever forgave himself for allowing this to get as far as it had. It is a surprise to hear your friend is training under him, as he had made it clear some years ago he had no intention of taking a student, and certainly not as long as Master Jinn and Xanatos still lived.</i>
</p>
<p>So, that’s… something. I know Jedi go over to the Dark Side, I’ve read about it and I’ve heard stories, but it’s weird, really really weird, to think about it happening to someone I kinda know. Knew. Someone I kinda knew. You’re not who you were after you fall, everyone knows that. That’s why the Sith take new names. It’s a ritual killing of the past self— or at least that’s what Maul told me. </p>
<p>I can’t imagine what it must be like, watching someone fall. Jedi aren’t supposed to be scared, fear leads to anger which leads to hate which leads to the Dark Side, but it must be scary, I think. I wonder if Master Kenobi was scared. I wonder if he <i>can</i> get scared. </p>
<p>
  <strike>I wonder what the Dark Side feels like, if so many people fall to it. </strike>
</p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>Master Kenobi came back, interrupted my trying to meditate, and interrogated me about why I thought we’d been double-crossed instead of thinking we’d messed up or been outplayed. I don’t know!! It was just a feeling! Something in the Force telling me to be aware of danger!! And then he asked all the questions I’d asked myself and not been able to answer, about how I could be sure I wasn't feeling the battlefield or other people’s stress, and then he gave me a lecture about certainty in accusations even though I didn't really accuse anyone of anything. </p>
<p>It’s impossible to picture him as a padawan. I know what Master Unduli wrote, but Master Kenobi seems like he stepped out of the Force one day and immediately started correcting people. So i yelled at him and said that i didn’t know and didn’t remember , and he told me anger was the path to the Dark Side and recited the code at me so i kinda yelled that maybe he should think about how i almost died and a lot of clones did die and then i kinda ran and hid because I didn’t want him to see me cry about it. Jedi aren’t supposed to cry. </p>
<p>One of the clone commanders found me, i don’t know which, and i didn’t wanna talk to him so he left and i guess sent Kesh. Kesh sat down with me and just sat there, not talking for once in his stupid eight year old teenage boy life, and when i was done crying he gave me a tissue and told me everyone’s gonna hear about how i held off a droid army singlehandedly on my very first time in combat, because soldiers talk too much. </p>
<p>“Soldiers tell lies,” I said, because Jedi aren’t supposed to lie, not ever.</p>
<p>“Stories, not lies,” Kesh said. “The difference is in the believing.”</p>
<p>And then he started telling me stories, all the way until he walked me back to my room, about Mandalorian mercenaries and immortal bounty hunters and a Jedi who could appear out of any shadow, and he said you’re only supposed to believe half of any given one. </p>
<p>“So what’s going to be the lie in this one?” I asked, and Kesh laughed. </p>
<p>“We’d need a Sith Lord showing up, I think. He killed Dahket so he couldn’t circle back, then dueled the Jedi apprentice on an empty battlefield to a standstill until her master arrived—“</p>
<p><i>Dahket</i>. I stopped paying attention at that point, because you’re only supposed to believe half the story and <i>Dahket hadn’t circled back</i>. Kesh reminded me, but I knew that. I <i>knew</i> that. I’d heard him giving his pilots orders, and I hadn’t been paying attention but he told them to blitz and run, and he’d been angry at Master Kenobi and Commander Cody for micromanaging because he’d wanted to keep control of his part of the attack—because <i> he wasn’t planning on circling back</i>. </p>
<p>(I wish I could say I did the thing like in holos and grabbed Kesh by the shoulders and told him he was brilliant, but Jedi don’t lie. What i actually did was i interrupted halfway through a Sith Lord impression by saying i had to find Master Kenobi really loud and then sprinting down a random hallway because i <i>knew</i> Master Kenobi was in that direction. And then I ran directly into Master Kenobi and made him spill his caf. But that part doesn’t go in the story.)</p>
<p>“I know why I thought there was a traitor!” I told him. </p>
<p>“Oh?” </p>
<p>“Dahket— the pilots, he was giving orders to the pilots and it wasn’t the orders you guys agreed about, he wanted them to pull out and get gone after the first assault, Dahket left us there, I think he <i>knew</i> there was an ambush waiting—”</p>
<p>“There could be any number of reasons for that,” said Master Kenobi flatly. “He gave them different orders than were agreed upon. What sort of orders?” </p>
<p>“Wrong ones!” That wasn’t enough for Master Kenobi, though, because he kept harping on it. He said to clear my mind and use the Force, but my mind was racing and I’m pretty sure my thoughts were echoing in my montrals. (Yes, I know, that’s <i>why</i> he said that, but it wasn’t super helpful at the time!!)</p>
<p>I got there eventually, though. It took a while, and it took Master Kenobi stopping <i>snapping</i> at me and sitting down on the floor with me to help me focus, but I did remember what Dahket said, word for word, and I repeated it to Master Kenobi and Commander Cody (who showed up at some point?) and Kesh (who I guess had run after me), and Master Kenobi got a look on his face like he just found a winning move in a dejarik game and was playing for a lot of cake and was hungry. </p>
<p>“Good,” he said. “<i>That</i> is sufficient for an arrest. Cody! Let’s go.”</p>
<p>And then I did something really, really stupid. I was really happy that I managed to solve it, that I helped catch the guy who betrayed us, and… and I wanted to see his stupid face when Master Kenobi caught up with him, so I asked to go with them. And Master Kenobi said okay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We went to confront Admiral Dahket on his ship. Master Kenobi said that the presence of other people, his soldiers, would likely slow him down if he was going to do something violent. I don’t know, maybe he would have if we had cornered him on the bridge, or maybe he would have done worse if he’d been alone. He tried to run away when he heard us coming in, so we chased him down at his personal flyer. </p><p>I should have slowed down. I should have stuck close to Master Kenobi, but I was… I guess I was angry, and anger leads to hate leads to the Dark Side, I do get it. Now I get it. </p><p>I saw him, and I guess I charged. And I yelled something too, I don’t really remember what, but he’d gotten so many of the clones killed and he’d almost gotten <i>me</i> killed and I couldn’t just stand there, so he turned around and took a shot at me with a Mandalorian slugthrower. </p><p>You know the thing about old Mandalorian weapons? They’re meant for killing Jedi. A lightsaber can block a blaster bolt, but against a slugthrower it just makes shrapnel. The shoddy ones, those can be stopped with decent armor, or if a Jedi’s got a really got grip on moving things with the Force but… I don’t. Neither of those things. I need to train more. And anyway after Master Kenobi said Dahket’s slugthrower had been the higher quality, more dangerous sort. </p><p>He took a shot at me and I went for my saber I think, I had a stupid idea that I could jump at him. It was gonna hit me, I knew that, but I wasn’t thinking and then, then someone grabbed me and pulled me to the floor out of danger and there was a horrible, horrible noise. Blaster wounds are clean, you know, but slugs break and tear when they hit. It all happened really fast and really slow at the same time, like I could see everything happening to the last details but couldn’t <i>do</i> anything at all, and then I hit the ground and Kesh fell down next to me, with his eyes all big and scared and with blood going down his shirt because he hadn’t come in armor. </p><p>He tried to say something to me, I think, but his lungs weren’t working right because he’d been shot, so he sort of patted my elbow instead, and I grabbed his hand and tried to do something to help him, but you can’t really help someone who’s had a hole torn through them no matter how much you pull at the Force. I felt him die, and I saw his face stop being Kesh and start being a dead clone, and I didn’t want to accept it so I sat there and cried and tried to put him back together until Master Kenobi suddenly was looming over me. </p><p>“He’s dead,” Master Kenobi said, all cold. “Leave him, there’s nothing you can do now.” I didn’t want to. Master Kenobi sighed and crouched down beside me. “There is nothing you can do for him and nothing else he can do for you. The soldier did his duty, as we all must. There cannot be a war without casualties.”</p><p>“His name’s Kesh,” I said. “He’s <i>eight</i>.”</p><p>“Kesh, then. Kesh did his duty. His duty, the duty of the clones, is to protect the Republic and protect us, just as ours is to protect the Republic and protect them. We do what we can, but not everyone can be saved.” He took me by the shoulders and pulled me up to stand. “There is no emotion, there must be no attachment. This soldier wasn’t the first to die in front of you, padawan, and he will not be the last, but weeping for them saves no one and accomplishes nothing.”</p><p>The Jedi Code says there is no death, there is the Force, but that’s not true, is it? There is death. People die. People you know, people you like, people who promised to finish a story when we get back, people who are too young. There is death. It’s horrible.</p><p>———————</p><p>But there’s also the Force. </p><p>I don’t know if it was … anything, but I dreamed about a white hall and rain outside. Kesh was there, talking to a group of clones, and he was telling them a story I didn’t understand, like it was in another language. I wanted to run up to him, but there was a glass wall between us. I knew there was a door somewhere, but I couldn’t find it so I ran along the glass for as long as I could before I woke back up. </p><p>I hope it means something. I hope Kesh and his brothers who died are safe within the Force. It’s not just Jedi who become one with the Force, right? It can’t be. The Force is in all of us, so all of us are part of it. </p><p>There’s death, but there’s the Force. I think I read an older version of the Code that said that, once.</p><p>–———————</p><p>We got orders to go somewhere else, just like that. I don’t know what the clones do with bodies. At the Temple, we have pyres, but I don’t think we can do that on a ship. Commander Cody said it was “taken care of” when I asked him, and then he told me it was a clone’s duty to die protecting their commander if need be. I asked him if that’s how he wanted to die, and he made a weird face and told me he’d want his death to be “of use to the general” and then shooed me off. </p><p>I don’t think I can be like Master Kenobi. Maybe it takes practice, but I don’t think I can do it even with practice. Never liking anyone ever, never getting close to anyone ever, just because they may die or you may die, that may be the right thing to do, the thing a proper Jedi would do, but I don’t think I can. So I’m not going to. A Jedi needs to find her own way within the Force, and I’m going to do that while liking people. I’m going to know the name of every clone on this ship, and I’m going to remember them. I’m going to write to Bariss and Bee and Anakin and everyone every week. I’m going to like Master Kenobi until I actually like him, and then until he likes me too.</p><p>That’s a promise. </p><p>————————</p><p>Our next mission is something diplomatic, so I guess I’ll see if Master Kenobi really does mind trick his way through talking to people. We’re not going to be the only Jedi there either — the briefing says Senator Amidala, the senator from Naboo, is already there, along with a Jedi they sent to guard her. (Master Kenobi actually rolled his eyes and muttered <i>oh please</i> when he read that, I’m not sure why. Maybe he doesn’t like the senator, people keep calling her a bleeding heart on the holonet, or maybe he knows who has bodyguard duty and doesn’t like them.)</p><p>Commander Cody took most of the soldiers to go reinforce a battle line somewhere. Apparently he took Master Kenobi’s caf mug with him, so Master Kenobi is extra jerk-y and the clones who stayed with us keep laughing about it when they think he’s not looking or listening. One of them told me that this is what happens when Jedi don’t clean their own dishes, and then his brother hit him on the back of the head and told him not to gossip. The clones are making bets on whether or not he’ll demand Cody fly back to give him <i>his</i> mug back. It’s really silly, I think. Master Kenobi can get another mug, there’s like fifty here.</p><p>————————</p><p>I asked Rigger, who doesn’t like gossip, why the clones can keep up making jokes even when things are terrible. He says it keeps morale up, focusing on other things, on good things, and that people don’t think there’s a lot of a point in staying serious when you don’t have to. I think that makes sense. </p><p>And, well, we’re supposed to avoid fear and anger. He says a soldier ought to also. Keep a clear head and follow orders, is what he said. It’s not that different from what I’m supposed to do. I asked him if I could help, and he said I’m already a help, that the shinies all like me and it’s all more alive with me around. I think maybe he’s just saying that, but I get the point. It’s the point of what Master Kenobi said too, I think — crying about the dead doesn’t help, but remembering them and fighting for them does, and so does helping the living. </p><p>————————</p><p>Dahket was supposed to go to Coruscant to stand trial. He never got there. The team that was supposed to collect him found him dead in his prisoner pod, and the soldiers say he’d been shot with his own slugthrower.</p><p>That’s vengeance, isn’t it? He’s dead, but it doesn’t feel good. I don’t think I like vengeance. I told Master Kenobi, and he just sort of looked at me and said that taking a potshot at a Jedi was a capital offense and didn’t say anything about Kesh or the other clones. I don’t think I like that either.</p><p>———————</p><p>Senator Amidala is a fashion icon, along with being like a million other things, and she’s just as high fashion in real life as she is in all her holo appearances. I’m pretty sure her dress weighs more than I do, and Knight Ventress, her bodyguard, says the pretty necklace with the green stones is worth more than a house or apartment in a lot of places. Her dress is also murder-proof, which is important because people have tried to assassinate her six times already. That’s why she’s got Knight Ventress with her, so that people try to assassinate her less. She’s weirdly positive about that, which may also be a morale thing. </p><p>She seems nice. I like Knight Ventress too, they let her teach a couple classes on jar'kai a few years ago because that’s her specialty, and she said I was a natural. Of course Master Kenobi doesn’t like them though. You know how I said he may have a problem with one or the other? It’s both. He argued with the senator about jurisdiction and then got yelled at by Knight Ventress because he wouldn’t call her by her first name.  </p><p>(I asked Rigger if we could call Commander Cody and get the mug back before an interplanetary scandal happened, and Knight Ventress overheard and asked if that was what had crawled up Master Kenobi’s butt and died, only she didn’t say butt. I guess both Knight Ventress and the soldiers found it funny.)</p><p>———————</p><p>Master Kenobi is the fakest guy ever. He went from sulking to being all smiley and charming in under ten seconds as soon as we were within range of the governor, and wound up getting invited to a private dinner with her that Knight Ventress said would make him forget all about mugs maybe. Meanwhile, the rest of us are eating on the Senate’s dime I guess? Because Senator Amidala, who asked me to call her Padmé, got offended that we had ration bars and also wanted to grill me I think.</p><p>She has a lot of questions about the war and the front lines and the clones and how they’re treated and how young you have to be to be a padawan and what sort of missions I go on. I told her, and I think it upset her. I don’t know why. I mean, all of us are on battlefronts. All the Jedi. </p><p>I couldn’t sleep, so I practiced jar'kai with Knight Ventress until Master Kenobi showed up. She said she could taste my hurt and that I should burn it off and I said I wasn’t hurting and then she hit me with a bo staff so I hit her back. My arms hurt now, but I do sort of feel better. And I fixed one of the problems with my footwork I think. Knight Ventress says I fight better when I’m dual-wielding cos I’m more balanced that way. I need to get better if I’m supposed to protect people, so I’m going to ask Master Kenobi if I can craft a second saber. Knight Ventress has two — a green one and a yellow one. There was a rumor at the Temple that the green one belonged to her first master, who got murdered, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us should be limited, right?</p><p>———————</p><p>Master Kenobi didn’t come back until morning and didn’t call either, because apparently an assassin had dumped his comm in a wine bowl before trying to kill the governor and then kidnapping him instead of her. I don’t know, and Padmé doesn’t know, who’d try to kill the governor while she was having dinner with a Jedi (or at all), but we’re going to find out, because I guess the governor is important to keeping the rebels out of this sector. </p><p>The briefing hadn’t said anything about assassins. I kind of wish it had. I want to know when people are going to be getting killed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The governor’s nice, if a bit snooty. It doesn’t really makes sense that anyone on the rebels’ would want to kill her, because she’s not super into the Republic as a thing and got loud about necessary reforms. I… don’t really get what’s being or not being reformed, but Padmé says it’s important for the Republic to change with the times. Padmé says the rebels aren't evil, they just want the galaxy to be better and maybe we should listen to them a bit about things that aren’t droid armies or Sith Lords and we shouldn't be beholden to business interests. (I had to look up what beholden mean.) I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that. Knight Ventress said that she’d be more willing to talk about negotiating with rebels if they'd stop trying to shoot Padmé, which is way simpler, and then Padmé said that maybe they'd stop trying to shoot her if they felt heard, and then the governor said she liked Padmé’s approach. </p>
<p>I think maybe this is two things they have in common: being sympathetic to the rebels and getting assassination attempts done at them. I said that really quietly to Knight Ventress and Master Kenobi lectured me about the differences between causation and correlation. Which, yeah, you’d think the rebels wouldn't wanna kill people who want to talk to them, right? Unless they were just pure evil. </p>
<p>I’m supposed to help investigate the premises but no one’s telling me what to look for so I’m just gonna stand next to the clones and pretend I’m supervising or something. </p>
<p>——————<br/><i>WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SHOOTING AT ME???????????</i></p>
<p>——————</p>
<p>Sorry. Master Kenobi said not to yell so I’m yelling in writing instead. The assassin was there again, on a roof while I was helping Rigger poke around in the governor’s courtyard, and he <i>shot at me</i>. This time it was with a blaster and I felt it coming so he shot a tree instead and then had to run away but??? why???</p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>It really doesn't make sense though. If someone's trying to kill the governor, it’s because she's a governor. If someone’s trying to kill Jedi, that's something completely different, right? And I think it means different things if they try to kill Master Kenobi or try to kill me. </p>
<p>I mean, I’m just a padawan. I don't think me dying would do anything like taking out a famous Jedi would. Knight Ventress says them killing a kid would probably turn the governor and her people <i>away</i> from sympathizing with the rebels. </p>
<p>
  <strike>Also if someone's hired to be a Jedi killer, wouldn't they like… do better?</strike>
</p>
<p>I’m really really glad this assassin seems to suck at his job. I hope no one sends a better one.</p>
<p>Anyway, he left a trail with the running away, so Master Kenobi and I are going after him while Knight Ventress gets double politician babysitting duty. Wish us luck!</p>
<p>———————<br/>… Ok, the weird keeps on coming. We trailed the assassin properly and everything, but the trail went cold randomly. The assassin couldn’t have vanished, so Master Kenobi thinks he got picked up by someone. Which means there’s not just one assassin, there's a whole conspiracy of something. </p>
<p>Which is super weird.</p>
<p>Also Master Kenobi thinks “super weird" isn’t appropriate vocabulary for a Jedi, so I told him Knight Ventress uses way worse vocabulary and he said I’m his student not hers so I shouldn’t cite her behavior as a precedent, whatever that means. </p>
<p>So anyway this is <i>super weird</i>. And so’s Master Kenobi’s dumb vocabulary. </p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>So apparently like, as soon as we left there was another break-in?? But this time they didn’t get close enough to hurt anyone because Knight Ventress had made all the guards stand down and shoved Padmé and the governor into closets and then the assassin kind of looked through a window and went away? Even though Knight Ventress was there and he or his friend or something had tried to shoot me?? </p>
<p>Even Master Kenobi stopped being mean and agreed that that was inconsistent behavior and probably a cover for something else. But I don’t get <i>what</i>. If they wanted to kill the governor, they could have done it lots more easily without Jedi here, right? And if they wanted to kill Master Kenobi, like, he's on battlefields most of the time. </p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>Knight Ventress declared me a junior bodyguard and is having me sit with Padmé tonight while she does something organizational with the clones. I asked if Master Kenobi is staying with the governor, but I guess he's not. I think they’re using her as bait. </p>
<p>Padmé's worried about her. She’s worried about lots of things, I think, and she sat me down to tell me I was way too little to be a padawan, which I’m not!!! And besides, she was a queen when she was just a bit older than me. At least she didn’t complain about me talking back, but she looked all sad and said she and her handmaidens had been too young for a lot of things then too, so my argument wasn't very good. </p>
<p>But we do what we have to do, right? I have to fight for the Republic and she had to protect Naboo back then, and it doesn’t matter how old we are. Padmé thinks it should, I guess, but it’s not like there's anyone to do these things for us. </p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>I don't want to keep sitting here. It’s too quiet and Padmé keeps checking the window, changing her hair thingie, and then checking the window again. I feel useless. </p>
<p>There’s nothing outside the window, though. That bit I’m sure of. This wing of the mansion is totally quiet. </p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>Padmé threw her hair thingie in the trash and told me we should investigate for ourselves, so we're doing that. Or really, we're sneaking around the governor's mansion in the dark while Padmé sort of peers behind curtains and I take notes. We’ve not seen any of the governor's guards, or any of the clones. Or Knight Ventress or Master Kenobi. I can sort of… feel that there's people around, but I can't find any of them. If this is a really smart plan I wish they'd told me about it, because it's giving me the creeps. </p>
<p>We’re gonna go check on the governor. I’ve got a bad feeling about this, and I don't think she's in her room. </p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>Ok! So a whole lot happened since last night, and I still don't know if there was a plan or not! I don't think I’ll ever know, so from here on out I'm assuming Master Kenobi is winging absolutely everything that isn’t written down by like Commander Cody or someone. I think that's a safe guess. </p>
<p>Anyway, we went looking for the governor, and we found her! In the dining room! With the assassin! Where she was telling him to tie her up to make whatever he was doing look more legitimate! Because she was in on it! And then she told him Padmé was in her room with just “that brat" minding her! So then Padmé like, called her out on that loudly, with the assassin guy <i>right there</i>, because I guess a bajillion assassination attempts haven't made her any good at not drawing attention. Lucky for us, all the lights went on just then and Knight Ventress, Master Kenobi, and the clones were all there. And then the governor's guards were all there and they sure weren't on our side, so Master Kenobi yelled at me to keep an eye on Padmé. </p>
<p>(One mystery that got solved right then, though: the assassin(s) were on the governor's payroll as her guards, of course they got picked up and brought back and could be in a bunch of places and know where we were, we never got close enough to ID them.) </p>
<p>There was a standoff, and then Master Kenobi said he was arresting everyone and that's when they stared trying to make a break for it or fight (but mostly run), so I tackled a guy and Master Kenobi grabbed the governor and called her an incompetent scheming traitor and I guess we lost track of main(?) assassin guy for a moment (he was definitely the one that had shot at me, I don't know if he was in charge of any of it). </p>
<p>And yeah, I know I was supposed to be watching her, but she’s a grown up and a whole senator so I figured she could sit in a corner for like two minutes while I helped! But apparently she wanted to help too, and ran out into the fighting with a blaster in her hand.</p>
<p>Maybe all senators get blaster training? Or maybe it’s a Naboo thing, or maybe that’s just what she does in her spare time. My point is, she was actually doing pretty well for like, a high fashion politician and had one of the guards at blasterpoint when main assassin guy came up behind her.</p>
<p>He grabbed Padmé and started backing away, saying that she was his insurance. (Her dresses may be murderproof but they’re not super good for the kind of moving where you have to put your arms over your head and stuff, and the materials are heavy and not good for kicking through, so she really was kind of trapped. I don’t want anyone to think she was being wimpy—and she told me after she was gonna get her dresses updated with lighter armory bits.) Knight Ventress tried to get behind him, and he laughed at her and asked what she was going to do if he could shoot Padmé as soon as she tried anything, and that’s when Knight Ventress stabbed him in the neck with a knife from the table.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone expected that to happen? Padmé made a really high pitched scream and the assassin fell over dead, because that’s what happens when you get stabbed in the neck!!! And Knight Ventress looked at me and said all calm that a Jedi’s gotta make use of her surroundings and then Master Kenobi said she was going to get taken off guard duty for doing murder and Knight Ventress said he’d had it coming. Padmé tried to make herself look tall and said it was her decision whether Knight Ventress stops being her bodyguard or not but then she gave a ten minute speech about the "intrinsic value of a sentient life" and how we must have empathy for all beings and stuff. </p>
<p>So uh... I guess that's how that ended.</p>
<p>———————<br/>Update: Padmé and Knight Ventress had a nice chat about what Knight Ventress calls "utilitarian philosophy" and seems to mean making Padmé specifically not get stabbed at the expense of other people, and now they're friends again I think. But Master Kenobi is a tattle-tale and called Master Windu so now Knight Ventress is getting "censured and reassigned" anyway. She called him way worse things than a tattle-tale for that, by the way, and Padmé started up a lecture about agency to which Master Kenobi said all things are the will of the Force, which made her even angrier. </p>
<p>I'm hiding in my bunk and can still feel them not-yelling, which they're probably going to keep doing all the way to Coruscant or wherever we're supposed to drop Padmé off. </p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>Update 2: She got picked up by a diplomatic ship on orders from the senator from Alderaan, who everyone says is really cute but I don't see it. We dumped Knight Ventress on Faliri V so she can rendezvous with someone she got a comm message about. Ugh. At least it's quiet now. I’d ask where we’re going next but Master Kenobi’s been getting a status briefing from Commander Cody for the last like, half hour, so wherever it is it’s probably terrible.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Is there a difference between a briefing and a debriefing? Some of the clones kept bringing up debriefings like it meant something but I don’t think I get it and when I asked they wouldn’t explain. Anyway, briefed or debriefed Master Kenobi says we’re going back to the front. Or one of the fronts, because there’s like, twelve. The rebels are hitting us from all sides, and Master Kenobi says that’s a sign of desperation and poor strategy but I think it’s a sign of a lot of people being in a lot of danger, you know?</p>
<p>Where we’re going, there’s a siege happening and we have to break it and resupply the Republic army on the ground. Master Kenobi thinks it should be “straightforward, though unfortunately for us not particularly easy”, though by us he definitely meant him and Commander Cody because I think he forgot I was still in the room at that point? And he says I’m to stick close to him ‘cause otherwise I’ll get into trouble again, which is really some sort of way to put it, but I’m not supposed to get in his way. </p>
<p>So, uh, I guess I’m going to pester the clones until I can find two to stand between the whole time?</p>
<p>—————</p>
<p>The big plan does seem pretty simple — <i>deceptively</i> simple is what Commander Cody says. We’re exploiting a known flaw in the droid ships to fly a supply ship in disguise down to the soldiers, while at the same time we’re gonna be picking off siege-ers and keeping their attention. The hard part, obviously, is actually keeping their attention, not dying, and getting the supply ship to not attract any attention, so we’re leading with the attack and then handing that over to Commander Cody while Master Kenobi and I do the sneaky Jedi thing in the supply ship. Or, well, while Master Kenobi does that and I padawan along.</p>
<p>I wish I was older, or better at sneaking, or already a knight or some other way where I could do it myself, because the way Master Kenobi explained it makes me sound like I’m gonna just sort of <i>be</i> there, and bits of it made it sound like I was making the whole thing harder by being there. I wish I could take the supply ship down myself, that’s my point, so Master Kenobi wouldn’t have to try to be in two places at once. He trusts Commander Cody though, and all the clones do too, so I’m going to too. The younger clones say Commander Cody’s won battles against impossible odds, but he just says that means the odds weren’t impossible after all. </p>
<p>“You have to think practically,” he said, when I asked him how he beat not-impossible-I-guess-but-still-really-tough odds. “If you know what your enemy is and what they want, you can figure out what they will do and go from there.”</p>
<p>“Know yourself first” said Master Kenobi like he was reciting something, “and know your enemy, and you can face your battles without fear.”</p>
<p>I guess stuff like that’s why they get along. </p>
<p>—————</p>
<p>Do you know what an all systems emergency broadcast sounds like? I think the one we have has a Force component, because it sounds like an alarm and then screaming inside your head. It went off when Master Kenobi and I were in the supply ship, and I kind of freaked out before I realized what it was. (And then I kept freaking out, but on the inside.)</p>
<p>When the alarm stopped, I heard a girl’s voice talking. She said she was a knight, but she sounded really young so she couldn’t have been knighted long before. She was commanding an army on Dayara, but they’d been overwhelmed — not just her, the whole Republic force on the planet, and they were getting wiped out. She gave her name, Eldra Kaitis, and the names of the other Jedi on the planet, and her coordinates, and then the broadcast shut off. </p>
<p>The horrible, the most horrible thing, was that we could do nothing to help. If we tried, we’d be abandoning our forces here, and we had more of a chance of saving lives if we stayed. Master Kenobi explained all that to me, but he didn’t have to. Even if we could have cut and run to the rescue, Knight Kaitis and everyone with her would probably be killed before we could get there. </p>
<p>The only thing we can do is save these people here, and I guess hope that the Force is with Knight Kaitis and the others and someone manages to get to them in time. </p>
<p>Someone’s gotta. At least someone’s gotta try. </p>
<p>—————</p>
<p>We managed to sneak past the droid ships. They did scan us, but Master Kenobi showed me how to meditate in a way that makes it look like we’re not alive and we had a pre-recorded thing playing that the droids picked up, so they let us pass by and by the time we landed they were too busy getting blown up by Commander Cody’s pilots to realize we’d gone to help Master Di’s army. </p>
<p>It’s good we did, through, because Master Di’d been shot and needed medical care and his soldiers were nearly out of ammunition and also starving, so we did the resupply thing and backed their counteroffensive. (I’m getting better with anti-blaster stuff. Master Di said I had a good teacher!) The plan now is to take a control base the droids set up — once we have that, Master Kenobi and I can get back up to the fleet and hit the siege-ers (there’s gotta be a word) where it hurts. </p>
<p>
  <strike>I hope someone did the same for Knight Kaitis.</strike>
</p><p>
  <strike></strike>
</p>
<p>
  <strike></strike>
</p>
<p>Anyway. Control base! There’s definitely good morale here, since we arrived, and even injured Master Di is kinda formidable, and Master Kenobi’s here and Master Di’s clone commander is apparently super brave. What I’m getting at is, I think we’re actually gonna be okay here. </p>
<p>
  <strike>Famous last words, right?</strike>
</p>
<p>—————</p>
<p>I exploded a droideka! I know that’s not the main point, but I want to get that out of the way first because it was kinda awesome and damaged like two other droidekas and even Master Kenobi said it was a tactically sound decision and he didn’t shush me when I said it was also a cool decision! So that was great!</p>
<p>What’s less great is that Master Di got blasted in the face (he’s got scales though so he should be ok) and we had to evacuate all the ground forces, which totally blew our cover and got our supply ship shot at but Commander Cody came through and saved the day! Also I learned that Master Kenobi is a <i>really good</i> pilot even though he complains about flying and I’m a pretty good shot with the turrets thing. </p>
<p>Winning, properly winning, that feels good. Maybe it shouldn’t, maybe I should be remembering those of us that didn’t win, but I … I want to be happy that we did something good. Master Di’s clone commander, Captain Keeli, said that breaking the siege meant that the people who lived on that planet would be able to return, because Master Di’s forces had gotten stuck there overseeing the original evacuation. This is good. We did good. </p>
<p>We’re allowed to say that, right? Right. We did good.</p>
<p>————</p>
<p>Master Kenobi says we’re going to Dayara now, in case there is still something we can do. There’s no news from Dayara, so I … kind of don’t think we can do anything for Knight Kaitis or anyone else who was there, but the clones think we can crush the invasion force there and avenge them. </p>
<p>Revenge isn’t the Jedi way, but they’re not Jedi. I can feel how hungry they are for it, how they’re hyping each other up. Commander Cody says that it’s because there’s a difference between battle and execution, and they see Dayara as an execution field. A slaughter. </p>
<p>I don’t know who killed Admiral Dahket in his prison pod, but I think I can guess what that person looked like now. That had been an execution field too. </p>
<p>I’ll write more later, but for now I’m signing off</p>
<p>Ahsoka</p>
<p>—————</p>
<p>
  <i>This is a formal copy of the testimony of the Jedi Knight Asajj Ventress relating to the events of the battle of Dayara. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>We didn’t do a thing wrong and you people know it. The Jedi are supposed to protect the galaxy, protect the weak, and we cannot do that if we are permanently stymied by our fears of the Dark Side. It is not a surrender to the Dark to strive to help others. It is a surrender to the Dark to be complacent and let evil spread simply because acting can do some modicum of harm. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I don’t regret killing that assassin. I don’t regret not following orders. I don’t regret what we did on Dayara and I don’t regret who came with me. If that’s cause for censure, I’ll take it and I’ll take it myself. I was the only Jedi involved, so that means the blame — if there’s to be blame — is on me. But before you fling accusations, take a look around at what happened and what could have happened and ask yourself what you would have done. Would you have been able to live with your choice?</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>I landed on Faliri V with full intention of returning to Coruscant as ordered, but even in hyperspace that’s a long journey. It wasn’t halfway done when we heard the plea for help from Knight Kaitis on Dayara. Knowing the rest of our forces were likely occupied, I gave the order for us to change course and reinforce them. The clones on the ship didn’t dare question a Jedi’s authority, so they followed me, and when he learned what was taking place Maul offered his aid. Since I have known him I have had no reason to doubt him. I still don’t. It is a matter of circumstances that made me and the likes of Knight Skywalker Jedi and left Maul to suffer in the service of the Sith. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The clones followed my orders, and Maul wanted to protect me. It wouldn’t be the first time.</i>
</p>
<p>——————</p>
<p>
  <i>This is a formal copy of the testimony of the Sith Maul relating to the events of the battle of Dayara. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>What happened on Dayara was my idea. No one bothered telling the clone soldiers what I was, apparently, and they presume anyone with robes and a lightsaber is a general to follow. I would doubt their capacity to question anything at all, but I did not take the chance. Master Jinn taught me a fair deal about mind tricks before his… departure. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Knight Ventress had orders to fly to Coruscant, and was intending to follow them when I took charge of the ship. I had helped save her life before, so I reminded her of her debt and forced her to go with me. A Jedi’s presence, I thought, would legitimize my actions — much as Kenobi’s presence and ability to vouch for me in the Mortis affair won me back my lightsaber. Neither she nor the clones acted against orders of their own will, they were simply bent to mine. Even the ship — if you check the control logs, you can see when I overrode the system. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Why? Please. You have a war taking place and have gone through great pains to keep me from it. I was created for battle, for destruction, for chaos, and this was an opportunity to seek it out. Really. Did you expect to keep me leashed to be gawked at by your younglings? Or did you expect me to bend the knee and embrace your teachings? In either case, it was a foolish assumption. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Besides, you surely could see this as a victory for the Republic, once the unsavory bits are swept under the rug. The rebels were routed. If asked, almost anyone there will tell you the Jedi carried the day.</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Missed a week, I know, sorry! My job turned into a minor disaster zone, but long story short I got promoted and now am back. Plenty of Maul in this chapter for y'all!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We got to Dayara way too late. I thought we’d miss the chance to save people, but what it looked like was that we’d missed the whole war. The place was a shell — you could tell there <i>had</i> been disaster here, but it was just so quiet now. I didn’t know what it meant, but I’m starting to not like quiet anymore. At the temple, quiet meant time for meditation or sneaking around in the Archives trying not to bother anyone, but here it just means… Well. You know. It doesn’t ever mean anything good. </p><p>It must have been really visible, not just in the Force, because even the clones seemed freaked out. Commander Cody ordered immediate scans and asked Master Kenobi what had happened here, but Master Kenobi didn’t know. The scans picked up signs of life, though, and I’m pretty sure a bunch of us cheered before Master Kenobi and Commander Cody glared in the direction of the noise. Which, yeah, ok, we couldn’t be sure they were Republic people, and there was probably a question of why the scanners picked them up but we couldn’t sense them? But also way to be jerks. </p><p>———————</p><p>
  <i>The statement of Asajj Ventress, continued.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>We only had the one squadron we were traveling with, so we had to make our landing count. We found one of the rebel bases with its army tied up hunting Republic soldiers elsewhere, so we took it out with aerial blasting and raided the wreckage for weapons. I think some of the clones kept the blasters and heavy shooters they found — it is no harm to let them, I think, good weaponry is hard to find. Plus, it’s not like what we loot comes out of the Republic budget. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Maul took the better half of the squadron and went to draw the rebels’ attention—battledroids are primarily dangerous when they’re plentiful, and the group we had found outnumbered us by too much to do anything direct. We were going to draw straws for who was the distraction and who slipped through their lines, but being <i>red</i> doesn’t really work in Maul’s favor for these things, and fights well enough to hold his own. The survivors of the Republic force there had backed themselves into a ravine, which amounted to as properly defensible a position as they could have found but a difficult one to escape; I had to bring the clones up the cliff face itself. Their general was not with them. As far as I understand it, she had left them in a garrison to go for help, and the garrison had fallen. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>We doubled back to retrieve Maul and his part of the squadron and finish off the droids there, and then I had intended for us to go find their general, but…I could not locate her. Instead, I ordered the clones to keep pace while we picked up enough other stragglers for a proper assault. A better course of action than leaving them to be picked off.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The clones seemed eager to collect their brothers and rally back to battle, rendering my concerns about lowered morale moot, and many showed significant skill as we progressed. They served well. Clones are not trained to question orders, so they did what I told them to, but they did well. The fault is not theirs.</i>
</p><p>————</p><p>Master Kenobi said we had to be cautious, but it didn’t look like whoever was left on the planet was aiming to shoot us down. They were hiding. Which is guess is a good reason to be cautious too, so you don’t scare them, but I don’t think that’s what he was going for. </p><p>We wound up landing in the desert, and there’d been a fight so recently there I could almost taste it and it tasted really bad. Burned out armor, broken bits of droids… But there wasn’t anything here now, and it didn’t look like the armor that was left was like… identifiable, other than being clone armor. Commander Cody ordered everyone to stay armed and alert. </p><p>It was like they were expecting something to jump out at us. But nothing did!!! Everything was… it sounds mean to say, I think, but everything was <i>cleaned up</i>, which is pretty much why I was sure it was Republic people hiding out there. It maybe was the same reason Master Kenobi was really really not sure. But I was right! Well, mostly. We did get jumped out at, but it was by a clone soldier with the biggest blaster(?) I’ve ever seen and then there was a standoff for like five minutes until everyone stopped wigging out and the clones started trading serial numbers to confirm who was who I guess cause their names aren’t official. (Blaster-clone’s name is Lin, though.)</p><p>—————<br/><i> The statement of Maul, continued. </i></p><p>
  <i>Knight Ventress and one of the clones, addressed as Lin, decided that the primary objective of this mission should be to rescue as many members of the Republic forces as they could. A properly lofty goal, I suppose. I made it clear that rescue missions were not my speciality, but they appeared to need the excuse. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Knight Ventress did rather well of it, in fact. The droids on Dayara had split into smaller hunting parties, and those could be eliminated while Knight Ventress retrieved their prey. It was clear that the rebel command had not expected reinforcements to arrive, and certainly not Force-sensitive reinforcements, and by the time the updated information had been relayed through the proper channels, we had amassed a proper company. While many of the troopers were injured, the rescue and promise of vengeance had them in hunting spirits. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Energy of that sort is contagious, and they refused to stop for treatment of injuries even when Knight Ventress ordered it. They wished to destroy their enemies even at the cost of their own lives. A useful mindset for soldiers, though it caused Knight Ventress... discomfort. All the more useful once the droids had regrouped and begun their second offensive. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>The primary conflict zone had been cut in two by the droid army. I, Knight Ventress, and our impromptu company were on the western side, while what remained of the original Republic command and some soldiers were surrounded on the eastern side. We remained outnumbered—significantly so. The rebels could easily split their forces and lock us down while maintaining the eastern perimeter, so we could not afford to waste time. I gave the order to force our way through. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Knight Ventress disliked it, but she could not force calm upon the soldiers, least of all when I was encouraging them. I led, they followed me. </i>
</p><p>——————</p><p>Lin told us the survivors were hiding out in an underground former rebel base and trading off watch duty. There was a bunch of clones, around 70, and three Jedi — a general who’d survived the attack and two who’d come with reinforcements before we made it. No one else had survived, but they’d managed to completely wreck the rebel army here and kill the commander — Master Kenobi tried to get name details, but Lin kinda had been paying more attention to the commander getting carved up with a lightsaber than to what anyone had called the guy beforehand. (Commander Cody says 70 surviving clones is a lot, given that last we heard from Dayara it had been a total rout. It’s… really not a lot compared to the platoons that had been sent to begin with.)</p><p>The base had some sort of weird insulation that Lin didn’t understand enough to explain, but Master Kenobi says there’s some stuff that can dampen a person’s Force presence so it’s probably that. (And hey, scanner mystery solved!) Apparently the rebels had a long-term thing going on here that we’d completely missed somehow, and Republic forces had gone in expecting their enemies to be lots less entrenched.</p><p>There… was a bit of trouble getting the base’s hatch open, which I think is maybe because of the weird insulation too? But they realized we were up there eventually and let us in. Out of armor, all the clones looked <strike>like Kesh</strike> really young, like it was their first time in the field or close to it. I don’t know if there’d been older ones here, Commander Cody’s age or something, at the start, or if there were whole platoons of shinies. Knight Ventress was there, with a badly hurt twi’lek knight who Master Kenobi recognized as Knight Kaitis, and Maul and the cut up body of the rebel commander just on the floor also which was really gross!!! In case you wondered!!! Even though he was a bad guy!!! </p><p>Knight Kaitis said they’d rescued her and that most of the surviving soldiers had been part of a tactical strike team sent to reinforce, which was I guess not the version of the story the clones had heard because they all agreed pretty quick that they weren’t a tactical strike team and then Master Kenobi asked if Maul or Knight Ventress had killed the commander and Maul said he had because Jedi are too squeamish and Knight Ventress said she had because she wouldn’t let Maul take charge of the operation and Knight Kaitis said she didn’t see what had happened and Lin said it didn’t matter because it was good the rebel commander was dead and then Commander Cody took another detour to ask if Lin was the captain of the company and should be addressed as such. That was another thing no one could agree on, so I asked one of the other clones if there was a way to check if there were other droids online on the planet and got to have a look at the central control panel. The panel was operational and sending out a shutdown command (apparently Maul’s idea?) but it showed nothing receiving the command. </p><p>“We won,” said the clone all quietly. He sounded really proud, which I bet he was? So I said congrats because I didn’t know what else to say and he started laughing so much he had to sit down which I think qualifies as going into shock. I sat down next to him until someone came to tell us Master Kenobi was evacuating everyone into orbit and calling for a different reoccupation force.  </p><p>————————</p><p>
  <i>The statement of Asajj Ventress, continued. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>We lost far too many in the attack, but we would have lost more had we lingered. We likely would have lost Knight Kaitis as well, as she was severely injured by the time we reached her. She had been captured and tortured by that bastard commanding the rebels on-planet, and though she had escaped she had been cornered by his droids again. Our intervention gave her enough room to escape them, and it was a relief to find a Jedi alive, even one I did not know personally. She notified us of the base’s location, and we cut our way in — I ordered Maul to handle the control panel while I dealt with the commander, and then I dealt with the commander. As far as I am concerned, there is no intelligence he could have provided that wouldn’t be contained on the base’s computers. Once the area was secured, we settled in to wait, and remained there until General Kenobi and his forces arrived. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>There is not much else to tell. We did all we could. </i>
</p><p>———————</p><p>
  <i>The statement of Maul, continued.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Yes, Knight Kaitis. I had not expected to find her alive, but she proved tenacious. The base was well-hidden, but she could provide us with clear directions to it, and not much holds up to a lightsaber’s blade. Knight Ventress remained with Kaitis and the soldiers to give any remaining droids a united opposition and to tend to the wounded, while I went to nominally find the control panel. The commander was fool enough to intercept me along the way, so I killed him. Better that than letting the Jedi agonize over the morality of killing a traitor and torturer. They found the corpse, but the point was moot by then. We had our victory and vengeance, at least for the time being. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>You know the rest of the story. Kenobi’s forces arrived eventually and took us off the planet, and then you saw fit to interrogate us. There is no secret here. Victory is better than defeat, and either would have been blood-soaked.</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Republic forces victorious! After taking heavy losses against the rebels at Dayara, the Republic army carried the day thanks to the timely intervention of Coruscant’s own General Kenobi. A Jedi known as The Negotiator for his diplomatic abilities, General Kenobi may be in need of a new nickname to reflect his now widely-known military skill. The general, pictured here receiving an intelligence report from his loyal clone subordinates—</i>
</p>
<p>Also pictured here: my left montral, because I’m standing at a weird angle trying to read the report while Reeve keeps waving it at Commander Cody. Not pictured: Master Kenobi getting super grumpy about access to classified information and sending the reporters on a wild goose chase to interview Knight Kaitis, who was being grilled long-distance by Master Windu while covered in bacta which made her kinda really not interviewable. </p>
<p>Point is, though, whatever happened on Dayara, no one’s going to know it except the people who already know it. The official story is that Master Kenobi saved the day (again, because he saves the day a lot!), and Maul and Knight Ventress got yelled at and Knight Kaitis got interrogated once she wasn’t bleeding on everything but basically said she didn’t know anything about anything and couldn’t pick Maul out of a lineup of guys with horns, I guess. And, like, we did win! But it feels kind of icky to be taking even padawan-credit for a thing we didn’t do. </p>
<p>Maul says it’s propaganda, and that feels icky too. The good guys aren’t supposed to do propaganda, or like even need to do it. Maul sat quiet for a while when I told him that, then went on a speech about how all history is propaganda from a certain point of view because it’s written to favor the interests of whoever’s writing it. Which, hey! History was my worst class, so I guess I’m bad at propaganda! Maul says I’d make a terrible Sith acolyte, which is a good thing as far I’m concerned. </p>
<p>He and Knight Ventress aren’t in trouble, anyway, and apparently a bunch of the clones that had fought with them on Dayara want to work for them and the council signed off on it, which Master Kenobi said is because no one actually wants to deal with it. I think that’s kind of the most straightforward thing he’s ever said to me. Knight Ventress said that this means they’re a tactical strike team after all, which is… good, right? Right. </p>
<p>I tried to talk to the clone called Lin afterwards, but by then I guess they’d all gotten their stories straight because Lin told me the rebel commander might’ve disemboweled himself. I think that’s even grosser than getting disemboweled by someone else!!! Both Maul and Master Kenobi say that someone who’s good enough at mind tricks would be able to make someone do that, and they said it in the kind of way people say things when they have a really specific scenario in mind that they don’t want to talk about. </p>
<p>Obviously I wrote to Bariss and everyone to ask if they know any mind trick master, just in case. I told Master Kenobi I should practice resisting mind tricks, and he actually!! said it was a good idea!!! So something’s gotta be up.</p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>Apparently the mind trick master they were both talking about was Master Jinn. Bee’s master knew a bit about that, he said that Master Jinn had been famous for mind tricks and mind-reading-type interrogations before he went crazy-evil, which like, maybe should have been a warning sign? Maybe? But he also said it was the sort of thing that could be used for good, like avoiding fighting or diffusing a situation. See, padawans and initiates are taught to use our words for things like that, not jump directly to mind control!! But I guess masters don’t have to follow the same rules or whatever. Or maybe they do, because he did go evil. </p>
<p>Anyway, I’m pretty sure neither Maul nor Knight Ventress can make a guy disembowel himself with their brains. (I kind of maybe thought Maul could, but when Knight Kaitis introduced herself all formally — Eldra Kaitis, Jedi Knight – he panicked and actually said “Lord Maul, not a Jedi Knight” so now I don’t think he can do the mind control state of mind.) <strike>I wonder if Master Kenobi can.</strike></p>
<p>—————————</p>
<p>I heard Master Kenobi talking to Master Windu on the comms, and they were talking about whether or not I’d completely wigged out over Dayara. We’re getting non-combat missions for a little while because Master Windu something something undue stressors something psyche something something Dark Side. I… don’t think I freaked out too much? Definitely not in a Dark Side sort of way?? But also I’m not going to complain about not seeing any battlefields for a few months. (I guess I can’t blame Master Kenobi for being paranoid about people going Dark Side though, so I told him even Maul thinks I’d be bad at Sithing. He said Maul’s opinion should be discounted all the time for everything. Which … I guess means he think I’d suck at it less than at being a Jedi, or something? I wish I could read his mind.) </p>
<p>Anyway, we’re off to convince some local ruler to let us put a military base on her planet. I thought most of the galaxy was part of the Republic, but it turns out it’s a lot more complicated than that — lots of old treaties and agreements and due-tos that mean we can’t put bases or land Republic military convoys in all sorts of places that still need our protection. </p>
<p>According to Bariss, a lot of these planets joined the Republic when it was still all confederate-y, so what they’re actually beholden to is regional powers and governorships and stuff rather than the government on Coruscant. Like Mandalore! Technically Mandalorian space is under the Duchy of Mandalore, and then the duchy has a cooperation agreement with the Republic so they get one senator rather than one for each planet and can declare themselves neutral in Republic wars. Which no one really thought would be a problem until, you know, we got a war this big. There’s a whole bad history between the Republic and Mandalore before it became a duchy, and apparently the duke way back when wouldn’t sign a full surrender even though he <i>wasn’t</i> a murdery beskar-and-slugthrower type. </p>
<p>We’re not going to Mandalore, though, because the rebels can’t get a foothold there so we can leave it be. The planet we’re going to is way low-tech and Master Kenobi gave me a phrasebook for the local language. He says even though we’ve got translator droids and the leadership there speaks Basic, it’s important for a diplomat to “appear to make a good-faith effort towards understanding local culture, language, and practices.” He also says it’s okay if I mess up the pronunciation of things because I’m just an apprentice, but when I’m older I’ll have to do better. I’m gonna practice with one of the translator droids until I get my <i>honorable greetings</i> perfect, because BOO on being just an apprentice.</p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>Director Telu said I was sweet and dutiful and I TOTALLY pronounced it all right! Actually, I pronounced it better than Master Kenobi, even though he knows more words, ‘cause I’ve got a different vocal tract and can hear different frequencies and you know sometimes I forget that I’m not human but sometimes it’s kinda handy!!! She said no to the base at first but Master Kenobi figured out she was worried it would draw the rebels’ attention to her planet and they’d not be able to fight, so he showed her plans for a defensive shield and said of course locals would be trained to man the base if that’s what she wanted, and long story short she wound up agreeing to a small Republic presence, the base, and weapons and training for her own army. And I helped Director Telu’s daugther with her makeup-paints and then she did mine, and I ate like six of a fruit I can’t spell that grows there and is really tasty. Apparently that was the right thing to do?? Because Master Kenobi actually grinned and said I’m a natural at diplomacy. I mean, if diplomacy is being nice to people and eating fruit, I guess I am! He says that counts as establishing common ground and a personal connection, so maybe it’s a lot less complicated than I thought.  </p>
<p>————————</p>
<p>If they’re part of the Republic, even a confederate-y part, why don’t they have the same tech we do on Coruscant? I couldn’t really ask Director Telu, so I asked Master Kenobi. He said it’s complicated and there’s lots of reasons, including that people were worried planets like Director Telu’s might rebel if they had enough power and concerns about the advancement of interests of nonhuman sentients. Like me.  Apparently there’s been a fight over upgrading the power grid on Shili for like fifty years for pretty much the same reasons. </p>
<p>Master Kenobi says he’s not worried about the planet rebelling because Director Telu doesn’t have sympathy for the rebels, and that the strategic value of the base is worth the cost of training and weapons and stuff, and that there’s no point getting stuffy about 45% of the Republic’s population because that makes “adverse sentiment” that bad guys can take advantage of. What I don’t get is why anyone thinks we’ve got any different interests than anyone else in the galaxy, really. It doesn’t matter to the Jedi what species you are, it shouldn’t matter anywhere else. Master Kenobi says that’s a goal to aspire to and work towardds, like mantra. <strike>There is no emotion, there is peace, there are no jerks, there’s just the Republic.</strike></p>
<p>————————</p>
<p>We’re going back to Coruscant, but this time with an envoy we’re supposed to escort. That’s not super exciting, but guess who’s got the envoy at the moment? Anakin! He and Master Plo are gonna meet us and make sure the envoy gets on our ship, and Master Kenobi says we can all have lunch at the rendezvous point unless a crisis situation occurs. It’ll be nice to see him again, I’ve missed him. I think Master Kenobi is happy to see him again too. </p>
<p>————————</p>
<p>Anakin’s got a cut on his face from a fight and like ten million stories and a clone captain with glitchy hair tagging along with him. The captain’s named Rex and he’s apparently a really good strategist and Anakin’s right hand man, and he spent a lot of time comparing notes with Commander Cody while we talked to Anakin and Master Plo and the envoy, who’s super snooty but also really really stressed and promised to play dejarik against me on the ship to figure out which of us is worse at it. Anakin gave me a ride on his shoulders like when I was really little (he kinda struggled, I think I’m heavier than he expected…) and Master Plo gave me a hug (hugs! I’ve missed hugs!!!) and Master Kenobi said “good afternoon” all formally and Anakin faked out a handshake and picked him up around the waist instead and spun him like they were in some sort of holodrama, and you know what Master Kenobi did? He LAUGHED. Not for like a long time, and he demanded Anakin put him down and stop being undignified like te seconds later, but he LAUGHED. </p>
<p>I didn’t know he could do that. Laughing <i>and</i> giving me a compliment in the same week. Maybe he’s not as much of a jerk as I thought. Or! Maybe I am really good at the diplomacy thing after all and making him loosen up!! </p>
<p>————————</p>
<p>I wish Anakin and Master Plo and Rex could stay with us for longer. As soon as they were out of sight Master Kenobi was all business again, though I did manage to make him admit it had been nice to see them. Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments, but that doesn’t mean we can’t like, like people. Even droids end up liking some people. Or liking some other droids, I guess? Anyway. I hope we can see Anakin again, and I hope Bariss is still on Coruscant when we get there and I hope we overlap missions with everyone we like, so there.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Is it bad that I was expecting something horrible to happen on the way to Coruscant? We didn’t even get stopped by anyone, though, and we dropped off the envoy at the Senate so they could meet with Chancellor Palpatine. The chancellor looks super wiped out. Like, I guess he’s been working hard too but he looks like ten years older than in his last holonews appearance. Maybe he’s sick. Master Kenobi says the chancellor probably does his face for interviews and stuff, because it’s traditional for Naboo nobles to wear make up. Maybe he’s been sick for a while then, which is... bad, really, because if he dies or something in the middle of a war it’ll cause problems, but also good I guess since it wouldn’t be contagious? </p>
<p>I’m thinking too much about this, but he really did look bad. Even the Force felt kinda icky, like the time they had to quarantine half the initiates because like sixty people caught the Rhodian flu. It’s not like I can send a politician a get well soon card though. </p>
<p>Also! I beat the envoy at dejarik! Once out of three games, but still! I won! Master Kenobi says I should use the Force to predict my opponent’s next move, but that’s kinda cheating, isn’t it? At least at dejarik. It’s good advice for a real fight, but no one dies in dejarik. </p>
<p>————————</p>
<p>I’ve never seen the Temple this empty. It’s creepy. I swear there’s fewer initiates, even. It feels like there’s a hole in something, I don’t like it. Master Kenobi says it’s been getting more and more like that since the war started. </p>
<p><strike>If it doesn’t end soon, will the hole be big enough to swallow the Temple?</strike> </p><p>
Guess it makes sense that not many people are here, though. Bariss and her master are, so I’m going to go bother them instead of overthinking.</p>
<p>————————</p>
<p>The first thing Bariss said to me was that I looked like I haven't been sleeping, so I’m going STRAIGHT to medical to make sure I didn’t catch the Rhodian flu or something from Chancellor Palpatine!!! </p>
<p>————————<br/>
Update: not dying, unclear if the chancellor is though. Healer Tomi gave me a bottle of vitamins and said he’d talk to Master Kenobi about carnivore dietary requirements, so maybe I’ll get rations that don’t taste like cardboard butt??</p>
<p>I thought Bariss would laugh about me being paranoid, but she says it’s good that I’m taking care of my health because a lot of people aren’t and at least she and Master Luminara are the same species so they can generally get what’s wrong with each other. (There’s special rules for mirialans that aren’t really official but happen anyway cause of how the Force affects them — mirialan padawans almost always get assigned a mirialan master. There’s apparently always bunches of them because their species is more Force sensitive than most, which is probably why they can do that? I’ve seen like three togruta Jedi total, so it really wouldn’t work for us.)</p>
<p>Anyway, it was nice to see Bariss again. We don’t always get along, and she’s kinda stiff a lot of the time? But I’m glad we’re friends. We talked about a bunch of stuff and I hugged her goodbye when Master Luminara (she says to use her first name) came to get her and Bariss only jumped a little bit and then hugged me back and called me Soka like I spent like five years trying to get her to! And there’s no rules against hugs, I double-checked. (Especially if you’re not dying of chancellor flu.)</p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>We didn’t get to stay long after that, because someone got word of the Jedi-killer General Grievous leading forces and we’re part of the force dispatched to stop him. <br/>
I don’t know much about General Grievous — like, I don’t even know if he’s a guy in armor or an advanced droid or using prosthetics or what. I do know he’s killed a lot of us, and that he collects lightsabers from the dead, which is kind of more important. But we’re supposed to know our enemies, right? </p>
<p>Commander Cody says General Grievous is a dangerous strategist on land, but kinda useless once you get him flying so they’re gonna try to get him flying. I asked Master Kenobi for more details but all he knows is that Commander Cody’s right and Grievous isn’t Force-sensitive. That’s weird, right? Who learns saberwork if they’re not Force-sensitive?</p>
<p>Anyway, we’re supposed to goad him into aerial combat and shoot him down rather than engage directly, but I have a bad feeling that that’s not going to work. Grievous would have to be really dumb to put himself at a known disadvantage, right?</p>
<p>Either way, sounds like we’re up against something really dangerous. </p>
<p>————————</p>
<p>Knight Kree says that on her home planet there’s insects that attack in swarms and strip away all living bits from plants. If they’re hungry enough they go for meat too, she says. That’s what it looked like when we got to a moon Grievous had passed through, like a swarm of dardanellian locusts. That’s one mystery solved: the general’s not a droid. Droids don’t do meaningless destruction and they don’t do hate, and I can taste how much he hates us. </p>
<p>I don’t know why. We have to have done <i>some</i>thing to make him hate us this much, right? Or he must have thought we did something? But I can’t think of what. Master Kenobi and the other Jedi on this mission don’t know either, and it doesn’t seem like they care very much as long as they end up getting rid of him. I wish I knew. I wish I understood. If it’s something not true, maybe we could convince him to stop, and if it’s something true…</p>
<p>If it’s something true that can make a person hate Jedi this much, then we’re doing something really really wrong. </p>
<p>
  <strike>I wonder if Maul knows.</strike>
</p>
<p>—————————</p>
<p>I thought Grievous hadn’t left survivors, but a guy was waiting by our ships. He felt all weird and creepy and asked us how the Force sounded here, but then he told us he wanted to help so Master Kenobi let him on our ship so we could talk. </p>
<p>Creepy McWeirdpants says his name is Granta and that Grievous is trying to lure us into a trap set by a Sith called Darth Acieus who’s the apprentice of Darth Sidious and they’re all in cahoots with the normal rebel leaders because they wanna kill off the Jedi and destroy the Republic for like, Sith reasons. And then I think Master Kenobi tried to mindtrick him and it bounced right off because Granta started laughing at him and he’s got a really weird laugh and can you tell I don’t like him? Because I don’t like him, even if he’s on our side. He’s CREEPY. </p>
<p>He won’t tell us why he knows anything about the Sith, but he did say eventually that Darth Acieus killed his mom and that he wants revenge. He’d be on the rebels’ side otherwise, apparently, because they’re better for business, and then he leaned over and asked if I was a little girl or just looked like one and when I said I was a padawan he said the Jedi must be desperate to field soldiers this young so I said he was pretty desperate coming begging to people he clearly didn’t like and then Master Kenobi ordered me and Knight Kree to go help Commander Cody in the armory. Commander Cody doesn’t need our help, but I’m still stuck here organizing blasters and I can still!! hear Granta’s creepy laugh!!! </p>
<p>———————</p>
<p>I know we’re supposed to accept defectors but I don't like anything about Granta and I want him to go away!! I told Master Kenobi that I didn't think Granta was on our side and Master Kenobi said he probably wasn't because his motivations were dark and his Force presence was nonexistent but as long as we had the same enemies we could make use of him. </p>
<p>“And if it is a trap, which I can tell you are concerned about, we would have to deal with it eventually anyway. Best to be prepared in advance.”</p>
<p>I guess??? But UGH.</p>
<p>Anyway if Granta the Skeezy survives us chasing down Grievous we've gotta take him back to Coruscant so he can defect properly I guess. </p>
<p>Maybe <i>he’ll</i> get the chancellor flu. Creep. </p>
<p>———————  </p>
<p>We caught Grievous before he could hit another planet, but he bailed on aerial combat super quick and jumped to hyperspace. According to Granta, Darth Acieus likes getting personal when he’s killing people too, so if they’re both involved they’re gonna try to isolate us and take us down in combat. </p>
<p>“Don’t worry, Master Jedi.” he said. “They won’t go after your commander unless he stands in front of you.”</p>
<p>“That is my duty,” Commander Cody answered, and Master Kenobi snapped at him that his duty was to follow orders and for a moment I thought they’d actually start arguing about it in front of him but Commander Cody said yes sir all stiffly and kept glaring at Granta the rest of the way. </p>
<p>Chasing Grievous won’t stop him though, so Master Kenobi gave the order to split up — half the ships to follow him, the rest to try to cut him off. That’s definitely a trap. If Grievous and the Sith want to isolate us, we’re doing half their job for them, but like, it’s not like I’ve got a better idea. I’m supposed to stay with Master Kenobi, and we’re taking Granta with us. Apparently he’s a good shot with a blaster, so he got some gear from the ship’s armory for when we land. I don’t like that either, but at least we can for sure handle one human with a blaster. </p>
<p>—————————</p>
<p>Grievous is hitting strategic checkpoints, apparently, rather than just throwing a dart at a starmap. Generally, that means if we can keep engaging him to keep him moving with half the ships, the other half can get past him and catch his army on the ground at checkpoint number whatever. It should work, and since he’s not Force sensitive he can’t tell who is in which group of ships. Darth Acieus probably could, but Master Kenobi says he’d be able to sense a Sith and there isn’t one with Grievous. Granta says he’ll show anyway, but maybe Granta just really wants him to?</p>
<p>Anyway practically speaking it means we’re parked somewhere tropical waiting for Grievous while Knight Kree updates us on her best efforts to shoot him in the clanky butt through a ship. (She definitely said clanky, but didn’t say butt, and Granta choked on what he was drinking because he didn’t think Jedi were allowed to cuss. He’s less creepy when he’s choking, at least.)</p>
<p>Moons that have thick atmospheres are always weird for me. I guess it’s not that weird, but usually planets are lusher and moons are kinda out there, for science reasons. This one grew a rainforest-type thingie though, and did it on its own?? because I don’t think it’s terraformed?? Granta says it maybe was terraformed by a pre-Republic civilization, which apparently happens more often than you’d think and ends up with weird things a lot when the terraforming process is left unsupervised and unsupported for however many centuries. Nothing super weird here, though, I think, just a comms base we’ve quickly evacuated and a bunch of little colorful flying lizards that I really hope go hide when Grievous rolls in because he’s not gonna spare them I don’t think. The little lizards seem to love Master Kenobi, and he’s trying really hard to look serious and imposing while like four sit on his head and one keeps trying to nibble his beard. A couple more are nesting in my cloak (it’s way too hot to wear it!!) and I can see one sitting on Commander Cody’s blaster and having a really good time. They’re avoiding Granta, which, good. I’m not the only one who thinks he’s icky. And it’s muggy and hot and tense. Maybe Grievous will RUST when he lands.</p>
<p>Ugh. It’s too humid to be scared of Jedi-killers.</p>
<p>May the Force and tiny lizards be with us.</p>
<p>Ahsoka</p>
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